A Chuckle for Friday

Laughing Face

More paraprosdokians for you.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 You do not need a parachute to skydive, you only need a parachute to skydive twice.

 Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

 There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

 I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.

 You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

 To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

 Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

 Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

 Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

 I always take life with a grain of salt—plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

 When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

 The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

 🙂

Sandy

GS 1b My Red Logo